Hey, guys. I've never done this and I don't know how successful it'll be, but I'm going to try an artists' feature. I don't have a subscription, so it'll be a little lame and only have links to deviations, but maybe we can spread the love here if people join in.

If you want to be featured, just write in the journal "I want to be featured" or something that gives the same general idea. Then when I feature you up here, return the favor and feature me in your journal. Sound good? Okay.

I'll just kick this off by saying I've got 9/10 feature slots open.

1. =Shimmering-Sword - lots of amazing mech designs, gritty, futuristic battle armor and weapons, as well as some pretty girls! Anthony is a wonderfully talented artist.
   
   Cannoneer WIP3 | Await the Sniper | Rangers Sketches

Yeah, so just comment in the journal if you want to be featured. Wee!

If you just want some happy-ish news, let me just say that my website is proving to do a great job of getting my name out there in the games industry. I guess there are a lot of companies who need animators. I just have to find them and make some contacts. It shouldn't be too long before I land my first gig and I'm really excited. Anyway, on to the rant ...

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I wholly apologize for not making sense or sounding like a selfish idiot. But I don't have anywhere else to vent.

I don't mean to incur Heavy Weapons Guy-like exclamations of "CRY SOME MORE!" but I'd really like to know what it's like to be one of you attractive, foreign, city-dwelling, young adult artists who know at least one other person within driving distance who gives one crap about art and life as an artist and who has ever experienced what even one art class is like and, no matter how difficult other aspects of life can be, still have time and drive to produce amazing works of art that people like to look at, and make a career out of art.

I can't help but feel I've been cursed with an unnaturally calm life. I don't have any chronic illness to fight. No separated family members, severed limbs, deaths close in the family, or relatives at war. I don't come from really any money, but by the grace of God, have never been in any financial crisis and most of the time, can afford small comforts should I happen to want something ... which still isn't very often.

Some people may look at what life I've been allowed to live and say "man, I wish I was that lucky to just live a comfortable, 'normal' life." But I think all my life has done for me is make me lazy, ignorant, boring, and mildly bitter. I am probably one of the most boring people I know. I don't have an interesting life story. I am atrociously average. I am not disgustingly obese, though I guarantee you wouldn't turn your head. I don't think that I'm ugly--but not stunningly (or even very) attractive. I have messy, long-ish hair, but practice good hygiene. I am extremely shy and inarticulate, but perfectly capable of being loud, understood, and confident if I have to be. I try to dress nicely, but have no real recognizable style. I've spent most of my life in rural, culturally-void country that I loathe with people I will never make any attempt to contact as long as I live. I don't, and have never, done drugs of any kind. Not even for the promise of "expanding my mind" because I think that is bullshit. I'm not a rebel because I was never forbidden to do anything that wouldn't hurt me or others growing up. Girls make me intensely nervous and guys make me angry. I've never been in a position to ask a girl out, so don't know anything about relationships except for what I observe.

I really hate to sound like an awful person, but sometimes I wish some tragedy would befall me, or something just so I could have some kind of life experience to make me a little more interesting. Or if I was given a nicer-looking body to take care of. Or self-esteem. SOMETHING. It just boils my blood when I go through artists' galleries that are amazing, and then learn that they grew up drawing in their culture-packed, urban homes or in the isolated, magnificently awe-inspiring landscapes of the old country, with places to go that encourage artistry, old, eccentric characters that roam the streets with stories to tell, or, hell, even just a place to practice figure drawing, for gawd's sake. Where do these places exist? Where are all the people who love to make art in the world? You artists actually have other artist friends? How did you ever find them? Seriously! Where the freaking hell do I need to go that has even one iota of culture that doesn't have to do with football, Amish, or gor'ram farming!? I've read and listened to so many testimonies from artists who make it seem so simple to just up and devote their lives to their art. "Go take classes," they say. WHERE!? How is it I have been born into the one place on the planet completely devoid of any appreciation or support for art? Maybe you live in western NY and have evidence to the contrary. You can correct me if you like--at this point I'm kind of just ranting.

I think most of my rage is coming from my own frustration with myself for not having the discipline to take advantage of every moment to sit down and draw. I've noticed a vast improvement in my understanding of anatomy, composition, and what have you since school. But I still don't consider myself a good artist (and from the vast, and underwhelmingly sparse response I get to anything I ever bother to submit here, I assume at least the dA community agrees with me). I absolutely intend on spending the rest of my life focused on bettering myself, or at least my art. It is the only thing I feel called to do and the only thing I really care about. It's just that I'm making very slow progress. The good news is that my website has gotten some good feedback from the game dev community. I've gotten a couple offers from people who would like me to contribute to their various game mods, and whatnot. But unfortunately, working with a team on a game mod isn't going to stave off my loan payments that are coming up soon, regardless of how interested I am in the project. I'm trying to be open, but wise as to what I respond to. I don't want to shut any doors, but I'm still only one person and can't do everything.

*sigh*

All I can do is try my best. Eventually, I will understand why it was worth living all this time and I look forward to the moment when I can look back and be grateful for how simple and easy my life has been compared with the wretched existences I know other people have to live with. Maybe I'll even have a wife some day. Who knows. Sorry for the stupid post. I hope you are all doing well.

I don't know that anyone even reads my journal, but the last Drink+Draw involving the Rorschach inkblots made me want to see other people's interpretations of what they see in the Rorschach tests. So far, two of my mates have done their own drawings, and even though we all used the same inkblot, our interpretations have been completely different. It's really neat how that works.

Anyway, I want to see what you guys come up with. You can find the original Rorschach inkblots on Wikipedia. Just pick one of the blots and draw something based on what you see. If you do a drawing, let me know and I'll link to it in my journal.

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The new website is almost complete. The front, artwork, and animation pages are all fully functional and ready for the public. Check it out! [link]

So ... I don't know if I've mentioned it already, but I'm currently living in Texas about an hour near San Antonio. I'm having fun for the most part, but babies and Texans sure are loud. I've got a couple projects going on, including a revamp of the website, since I think it looks like balls. I'm really liking where the new design is going though, so look for that in the near future. It'll also have a lot more content.

Other than that, I'm just trying to do some animation. I keep having to fight with it, but every time I delete half my poses and try something new, it becomes a better animation and I learn a little from it. But jeez, I really would like to have something new to show. I'm working randomly on a few drawings, but none of them are ready to submit or anything.

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No word from ReelFX still. I send them another e-mail a few days ago, asking about the interview, but they haven't gotten back to me. It's pretty frustrating, but if I get in, it'll be worth all the waiting.

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Hope you guys are having a good week. Also, if you're into that sort of thing, I'm on twitter now since I hate and don't use Facebook. Here is the [link] so follow me.

I'm being hypocritical by even writing this, but:

No, I don't care about Michael Jackson dying. And even though it won't make a difference, I'm not looking forward to the inevitable "We'll miss you, Michael" bull crap that is going to be invading deviantART and my message box for the next week or so.

Just thought I'd say it first.

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Also, I'm waiting for a possible interview tomorrow or next week. Ugh, I want that apprenticeship so bad.

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Also, HOW THE HELL CAN THEY EXPECT US TO WAIT UNTIL JULY 21ST FOR CORALINE TO COME OUT ON DVD!? It's already been 5 months!